Vol. 114: With a friend like this…
A playground metaphor for you-know-who
One of my favorite sports memories occurred not in a professional contest nor a college or high school match nor even at summer camp, but in a half-court pickup basketball game at the 76th Street playground in Riverside Park on New York’s Upper West Side. I was 14 or 15 at the time— say, spring of 1957 or ’58.
We players— four on each side— were strangers to each other. One of my teammates was a neighborhood goon, bigger and probably older than everyone else on the court. Think Sylvester Stallone as Rocky or Henry Winkler as The Fonz and you’ll get the picture.
Rocky, as I will call him, was unstoppable due to his size and belligerence but otherwise clueless about the game we were playing. The concept of teamwork in a team sport seemed unknown to him. Whenever someone missed a shot, Rocky would grab the rebound, dribble back to the foul line to establish possession, and then take a shot, ignoring his teammates altogether.
As a result, my teammates and I hardly touched the ball. More important, our team fell behind, by a score of five baskets to three. Playground protocol dictated that the first team to score ten baskets wins the game, at which point the losing team was expected to vacate the court for the next group of waiting players.
This prospect infuriated me. Soon I began voicing my frustrations.
“Pass the damn ball!” I shouted at Rocky. “Look for the open man!”
Rocky did not take kindly to my constructive criticism.
“You think you’re so great, smart guy?” he said. “Let’s see how well you do without me.”
With that, Rocky stomped to the sideline, where he stood, smirking, leaving my two remaining teammates and me to play against four opponents while trailing by two baskets.
“OK,” I replied defiantly. “Let’s see!”
We came from behind, won the game and, not incidentally, wiped the smirk off Rocky’s face.
Would Ukraine be better off?
The lesson was indisputable: For all his size and swagger, Rocky was more of a liability than an asset. Even outnumbered, our team was better off without him than with him.
Rocky never acknowledged as much, of course. Just before the game ended, he shuffled off without a word.
Does this story sound familiar? Can you think of another arrogant bully who fancies himself God’s gift to humanity, but who’s actually a disaster for his teammates?
No, I guess not. Sorry I asked.
But now that you mention it, would Ukraine and NATO be better off without Trump on their side?
George W. Bush’s debt
It’s a tough question, I know. In a tight spot, wouldn’t you want Donald Trump in your corner?
Just ask Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen, who spent nearly three years in prison for carrying out Trump’s wishes. Or Rudy Giuliani, who was forced into bankruptcy for falsely attacking election judges in Trump’s behalf (without ever receiving a cent of compensation from Trump). Or Mike Pence, who faithfully supported Trump as vice president, only to narrowly avoid lynching by the January 6 rioters for refusing to nullify the 2020 election results. Or the January 6 rioters themselves, who went to prison after Trump urged them to storm the Capitol to prevent Congress from certifying his defeat. Or Trump’s loyal longtime chief financial officer Allen Weisselberg, who went to prison for grand larceny, criminal tax fraud, and falsifying business records, among other charges. Or Stormy Daniels, who described sex with Trump as “the worst 90 seconds of my life.”
Come to think of it, the catalogue of people who’ve benefitted from association with Trump belongs in the library of The World’s Skinniest Books.
Granted, George W. Bush owes Trump bigtime. During his own White House tenure, Bush was widely considered the worst president in U.S. history. Today, thanks to Trump, he looks like a statesman.
Or consider Charles de Gaulle, who took France out of NATO’s military structure in 1966. De Gaulle often warned that the U.S. and Russia might “one day come to an agreement to divide up the world.” De Gaulle’s reputation is enjoying a revival in France these days, now that Trump is declaring that the post-World War II concept of a united free Europe, defended by NATO, was conceived to “screw” America.
Inconvenient facts
Trump claims, wrongly, that the U.S. has contributed more in military, economic, and refugee aid to Ukraine than its NATO allies. Conversely, he admires Vladimir Putin and Russia, which I guess is understandable: Wouldn’t you tremble before a country with 11 time zones?
High time for NATO’s leaders to remind each other of a few inconvenient facts that Trump and his pal Putin conveniently overlook: France and Germany combined have a greater population than Russia. France and Germany, each separately, has a greater Gross Domestic Product than Russia. So does the United Kingdom. So does Italy. So does Canada.
Meanwhile, Russia is losing population. Its economy is a basket case. Its foreign currency and gold reserves have evaporated. Its interest rates are currently at 21%. Russia, as the late Senator John McCain once pointed out, is not so much a nation as “a gas station with an army.”
On the positive side, Russia’s president is always impeccably attired. His posture is superb,
What can you say about a U.S. president who gives the back of his hand to America’s European allies but admires the well-dressed head of “a gas station with an army”?
But I guess you’re wondering whatever became of Rocky, my erstwhile playground teammate/bully. Did he, by any chance, grow up to be president of the United States? That would make a neat ending to this story. But no— Rocky wasn’t capable of learning from his mistakes. What thinking American voter would hire such a jerk?
Enjoy Dan Rottenberg’s newest book, The Price We Paid: An Oral History of Penn’s Struggle to Join the Ivy League, 1950-55. You can also visit his website at www.danrottenberg.com
From reader John King:
Well done, true, and very satisfying in a particular way. But sadly, extremely frustrating.
Be sure to keep up the jabs. They are very much needed!
From reader Eric Young:
I have been a practicing CPA since December, 1989. Most of the time, I am a CFO for a convenience store/gas station company. There have been many times where I had to choose the easy way or the right way. Pressure from ownership and the desire to remain employed can create a conflict of interest. I always endeavored to choose right rather than easy, but admittedly, I would probably like a few do-overs over a 36 year career.
When I think of Cohen, Giuliani, Pence, and Weisselberg, one thing is clear to me: They all had the opportunity to do the right thing. Only Pence had the character and strength to do so.
I can clearly identify with Weisselberg, but apparently there was enough money to compromise his integrity and his name. Cohen obviously had no scruples; he stole from his clients repeatedly. I think Rudy (and probably Cohen to a certain extent) traded their integrity and name in exchange for being part of the power structure. It is my view that Stormy Daniels knew the business deal she made, so I do not have much sympathy for her. They all knew what they were doing when they were doing it, so I place that responsibility on them. They knew who and what they were dealing with and certainly had the opportunity to do the right thing. Sadly, Pence was the only one to do so.